Headline News: New Element in the Perodic Table

Subject:NEW ELEMENT IN THE PERIODIC TABLE

Element : WOMEN

Symbol : WO+

Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.

Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

1. Boils at room temperature

2. Freezes without any known reason.

3. Melts if given special treatment.

4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.

5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones
and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known
reason.

3. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.


COMMON USES

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.

2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.

2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD

Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at
different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!

PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL
HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS ....

ps. this is of course a joke, so please don't take it seriously gals....:)